im confused!!!

ive just entered...so its a bit plain...sorrie...im missing sum ppl terribly...daphne,uni,ika,chloe,kris,sasi...loads and loads...i hurt so much...yet,da pain dosent subside dat easily...
i feel lke im betraying her...i cant do anytin...cant break...cant dun break oso...i just read her block...my heart bleeds...im NOT a betrayer...i cant do anything
i fell as if im responsible...wad sholud i do...no answers onlie questions...WHYY??